Parenting tips: Discipline child in loving ways then spanking
Toddlers are novice and don’t know what is right or wrong or even what is good for them and what can be bad for their health and they don’t even realize that this could be dangerous to them.
Our cute little chubby cheeks are so sweet and loving. Ok agreed they turn monsters at times when they throw there temper tantrums and somehow find some or the other thing which can harm them and may even tear out to our important papers and would scream and cry out loud when you need some peace of mind.
The kids are too novice and have no development of understanding complicating things. Even their reflexes are of sucking, picking and throwing things most of the time. So spanking them to make them understand is not going to work but this may turn child to get naughtier or may even make him keep to himself.
Take an example: Child is putting a coin in his mouth. A mother used a very sweet voice suggested her child to remove coin from mouth as they don’t taste good. But child swallowed it.
Question is if mother had shouted and shown anger or spanked would have child kept aside the coin. Chances are that child may not have done so or as you are angry he may run from that place taking the coin or do it behind your back.
What is the solution?
Toddlers don’t have well developed reasoning skills of adults, right now they don’t understand as what is the harm of swallowing of coin and its future consequences.Talking about the harm is only a part of disciplining the toddler.
The Do’s of disciplining: Parenting Tips
- Stop the behavior: When child is doing something wrong, if there is immediate danger lift child away/ remove item/ then verbally correct. Words like “no’ ‘danger’ is important. Chit chatting when he is attempting to do will give him time to actually do a harmful thing. Like in above example just telling him, child swallowed because you were saying how bad that is while child gets the time and chance to swallow it! First secure him.
- You need to make a strong impression in child’s mind: this is danger or behavior is unacceptable.
- Make impression and then chat and explain : See like in above example, you need to take coin away, that is place your kid in secure environment and then explain the harm and danger in simple manner and don’t lecture him. This they don’t understand. Give them a minute or two after explanation and also remind them of some previous mishap and how it hurt them as this will make a better impression.
- If child is too young try distracting the child with safe activity and then explain what he was doing could have harmed him. They will not understand much but do it for your sake.
- If biting and kicking: you don’t have to do that same back to them like spanking as they will think this as right thing to do. Remove the element causing this behavior. Also as child is so young you need to model appropriate behaviors.
- For example your child doesn’t swallow the coin, or says it’s bad and drops the coin you need to give him enthusiastic praise. These kids love actual praise. This helps them develop self efficacy and know what is right and wrong. This is positive discipline.
- A balanced positive and negative discipline is a loving way to raise a well adjusted and safe toddler.
There are some parents who feel that as these kids don’t understand logic and reasoning its better to spank them which according to them is only way to prevent child from performing wrong behavior. They think spanking makes child realize beyond shadow of doubt what they did was not right and unacceptable.
But don’t you think it is hypocritical to teach children to discipline and behave well with violence when you spank them for them kicking or biting other. Tell them kicking and biting is bad and then what are you doing when you are spanking them?
This shall confuse them and moreover children who are spanked in order to discipline them, actually don’t learn the true difference between right and wrong. He may grab this is wrong and avoid it but what is right behavior he doesn’t learn coz parents tend to explain when they spank what is right thing to do.
Emphasizing the positives help and makes child respectful. ‘Do as I Do’ helps, rewarding good behavior helps more and drives the point home. Ask them to stand in corner or ‘time out’ helps to give them time to think what they were doing was it wrong?
Love is always the key to solve all human problems and when you lovingly explain things child is bound to understand then being angry.
Any of the parenting tips which you will read, but above all think from your heart, the place which is bound by love, all other parenting tips will succeed if you just think from your heart for a very good way to discipline your kids and also to have great relations in your family.
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