Parenting Styles: Don’t use your great great grandpa styles

Change is the only constant thing that happens in world. Generations these days change into generation X, Y and Z. This generation change and generation gap now occurs not as in decade but within the year or years of two to four. What used to be normal with a teenage of eighteen years, that’s in trend now with teenage of fourteen to fifteen years. The constant change has grown and developed things so fast that parenting styles are needed to revamp themselves. The times of yore, in your great great grandpa or even in the era of your grandpa has now changed and now you need to practice those parenting styles which will suit better to prepare your child for twenty first century.

Parenting Styles: Authoritarian Parent

authoritative parenting styleParents who values obedience the most, according to them child has to do whatever the parent says. What to do or what not to do is not the question! It means they give direction to kids as you are supposed to do this and simply you can never do this ever in your lifetime! Its basically a Hitler’s rule or Military rule! The rules and regulations are clear and unbending and no exceptions to them at all.

In this the kid is thought as ‘idiot’ as parents are the one who give right information and child has to go by that only. As child is an empty vessel and they are responsible for pouring all right contents in the vessel.

Punishment- This is their highlight and hallmark. Any misbehavior will be strictly punished.

This parenting style was good in history, when societies were experiencing no change or rather slow changes and they were acceptance way of doing things. It was time when a master teaches a child and act and child learns by imitating the expert. This parenting styles of authoritarian parenting style mismatches with rapidly changing society. As people now look for choices and innovation, authoritarian parenting style causes rebellion because of strict punishment. Spanking especially depicts violence, in times where peaceful solutions are more acceptable. Also child raised to follow and copy expert will not use his head when out in world and may tag along undesirable peers coz he has no understanding that this is wrong.

Parenting Styles: Permissive parenting style

Permissive parenting styleThis one is opposite to authoritarian parenting style. As if parents who had lived a life in prison with authoritarian parents now are setting their kids free to try their wings. This parenting style got so popular in 1950’s and 1960’s. As if this parenting style is the reaction to the horror of dictators.

As written above, children are allowed to try their wings; they are encouraged to think for themselves, no need for conformity and avoidance of inhibitions. “You fall you learn” in this approach parents are like” hands off” allow children to learn from their consequences of their actions. Ignoring is also part and parcel when misbehavior is done. Ignoring the misbehavior doesn’t teach them what is right and wrong, as what is acceptable and unacceptable. With no intervention in kid’s life, bully wins and the passive child loses and this perfect set up for to be victim in later life.

Kids tend to be creative and original when raised from this parenting style but they have problem living in highly populated community. They are not able to work under people or even at times in teams, making them difficult to fit in work-force.

Also aggression patterns are inbuilt when children are guided well, as to find the right and correct ways to get desires and wishes met.

Earlier also one parent was always around that could atleast keep a eye, but now since both parents are working in most households, there is no one to guide self-discovery of children to consequences of actions.

Today society is fast paced with multitude of people who are involved with your kid’s life, who may at times be playing with your child’s life. If the limits and boundaries are not set in for curfews etc, child gets confused; in him insecurity may also creep in and may even make poor choices.

Most important if you are letting your kids to fly out and try wings, before letting them go from nest at least teach them to fly.

Parenting Styles: Assertive- Democratic Parenting style

After 1960’s with drugs, teenage pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, smoking and drinking problems with rave parties in rage here comes the Assertive- Democratic Parenting style.

In this parenting style, parents establish basic guidelines, children are expected to abide by rules and policies established which are actually strictly enforced by the parental figures. Thought the issues are clarified and children are given reasons for limits and curfews set on them. And most important there is room for modification or change with consent of parents.

Assertive- Democratic Parenting style can be regarded as most successful parenting style in the modern era of twenty first century. This Assertive- Democratic Parenting style allows Self–expression for children, encouragement for taking responsibility, and also there is discipline with clear accountability. Learning to take responsibility is hogh priority and this leads to understanding of what the child did, what are consequences, and even teaches as how to resolve the issue in the future. There is lot of practice along with guidance before letting them try their wings. Assertive- Democratic Parenting style is conducive to children who openly communicate with parents, with an understanding of  limits of their self-expression, and teaching them of accepting of the consequences of their actions. Misbehavior is handled properly, as children are part of deciding of punishment also as how to amend when something is hurt.

Assertive- Democratic Parenting style is good for fast changing age, where choices are many and there is no longer one way of doing things or one right way.

Children raised by Assertive- Democratic Parenting style accept responsibility, know to make wiser choice and are able to cope with change and are good in problem solving and more over are better team member and are able work force.

The one factor in parenting styles is which stands clear, and that is “consistency.” Whatever parenting styles a parent decides, will be best for them and their family, but it should be in consistent while in the chosen approach. It is vital to raise an emotionally healthy toddler to the adult stage, and he should be socially responsible and the productive member of society.

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